


When the Dust Settles

by Capsiclerogers1998, star_kid



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Tragedy, F/M, Feels, Seriously this is like, Zen feels a ton of guilt, based on fanart, i'm not even joking, mc needs a hug, pure feels, she needs a lot of hugs actually, spoilers for zen's route
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-20
Updated: 2016-11-11
Packaged: 2018-08-30 08:37:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8526250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Capsiclerogers1998/pseuds/Capsiclerogers1998, https://archiveofourown.org/users/star_kid/pseuds/star_kid
Summary: It was raining, but that didn't stop Zen and MC from trying to have fun together. It was supposed to be a nice night out. Zen didn't think there was anything that could have possibly gone wrong. Oh, how quickly things can change.
(Please read notes at the beginning of chapter 1)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! So, before we begin, we'd like to address a few things.  
> 1\. This fic is based on [ this amazing comic](http://myetie.tumblr.com/tagged/Zen-Feels-Train) drawn by [ Myetie on Tumblr.](http://myetie.tumblr.com/) Cap saw the comic and got inspired by it, so she asked if she could write a fic to go with it and well, here we are! 
> 
> 2\. We debated whether or not to make this a reader insert, but eventually decided against it because we wanted to write this story in third person. However, that doesn't mean that you can't make it a reader insert for yourself (if that makes any sense?). Basically, what we're trying to say is, feel free to replace "MC" with your name instead ^^
> 
> 3\. There's really no guarantee on how often this fic will be updated, as we will be updating when a new panel is drawn for the comic. We'll still try to update as quickly as we can. This is Cap's first fic so feedback is greatly appreciated. We hope you enjoy the story!

It had been two years since MC had first joined the R.F.A. After the incident with the bomb, she moved into a new apartment with Zen and later became his manager. Zen had just finished filming his role in an upcoming musical, and they had decided to spend a night out together to relax.

It was already dark and raining, but that didn't mean that they couldn't spend some quality time together. After being constantly busy with filming, they both craved each other’s company. They stood in front of Zen’s motorcycle within the complex’s small parking structure. MC looked at the motorcycle for a moment before she turned her attention to Zen.

"I'm not so sure about this, Zen. I mean, it's raining. Wouldn't it be safer to just take the car?" She asked. She was skeptical, and it was shown in the concerned look on her face.

Zen looked at MC and smiled reassuringly, then gently held her chin between his thumb and forefinger as he leaned in and gave her a chaste kiss on the lips. "You don't need to worry, my love, I promise you that it's safe." He said. "And if you get scared, you can always hold onto me tighter. Then you'll be even closer to me." He added with a small wink. MC couldn't help but blush a bit as she smiled. 

No matter how often Zen flirt with her or showered her with compliments, he always managed to make her flustered. "Well, okay then. I trust you." She said. While she wasn't sure that it was the best idea to take Zen's bike while the weather was this bad, she decided not to argue. She trusted him because she believed that what he wanted more than anything was to keep them safe.

Although MC was still a bit reluctant, she got on the bike behind Zen and they left the apartment complex. MC held onto Zen, the rain already starting to soak through their clothes. After a few minutes, the feeling of rain hitting her in the face, the warmth coming from Zen’s body, and the sounds of the cars and people they passed by became calming and almost therapeutic. Eventually, she managed to relax and her worries disappeared. 

It was that moment when everything suddenly changed. MC had no idea what caused the accident, but one moment she was holding onto Zen and the next she was flung off of the motorcycle before she felt an overwhelming amount of pain. She lost consciousness when her head smacked against the pavement. 

Zen groaned in pain as he looked around, a bit dazed from his impact with the ground. His vision was blurry and the world seemed to spin, but after a few moments, he came back to reality. He knew that going out in the rain wasn’t the smartest idea, but he hadn’t expected that he’d lose control of the bike so easily, and he sure as hell hadn’t expected to down the bike. 

He could see a few cars that had stopped, as well as people who were walking on the street. They were coming closer and quickly gathering around, questioning each other as they tried to figure out what had happened. 

The warm feeling of MC’s hands pressed against his chest still lingered, but she was gone. It was then that Zen started to frantically look around as panic began to set in. He  _ had  _ to find MC; he  _ had  _ to know that she was okay. He couldn’t possibly live with himself if she got injured because of his carelessness. He brought his head up from the ground, then pushed the rest of his body, ignoring the intense pain in his arm. That was when he saw her. She was lying on the pavement with her back to him, her body limp and seemingly lifeless.

Zen tried calling out to MC, but he received no response; no indication that she had even heard him. “N-no...no, MC...no!!!,” he cried out, but to no avail. His words were muted by the blaring sirens of various emergency vehicles, so it wasn’t as if MC would be able to hear him anyways. 

As they moved MC onto a stretcher and loaded her into the ambulance, Zen couldn’t help but feel as if it were his fault. He knew he should have listened to her worries instead of ignoring them. The only reason she had agreed to take the motorcycle was because she saw that he was so sure that things would be okay. She had so much faith and trust in him that she was willing to agree, even though he could see that she still held a look of worry on her face. 

If only he had listened to MC instead of insisting on taking the bike, then none of this would have happened and MC would still be okay. She was always the more levelheaded one. She always knew the right thing to do, but for some damn reason, he thought he knew better. He knew that after this, he’d always have to be careful. MC meant more than anything in the world to him and he couldn’t risk losing her. He made a promise to himself as he laid on the pavement, that he’d be more careful with her forever, and that he would never again undermine her concerns. 

The paramedics took Zen into the ambulance, then started to tend to his injuries. They did their best to be gentle as they treated his wounds, but Zen felt as if he was already numb from the guilt that was consuming him and clouding his thoughts. 

‘ _ It’s all your fault,  _ **_you never deserved her_ ** _.’ _

_ ‘She  _ **_trusted_ ** _ you, and this is how you repay her?’ _

‘ _ She’s better off without you,  _ **_you couldn’t even protect her_ ** _.’ _

_ ‘What kind of a person doesn’t listen to the only person they love?  _ **_Stop thinking about yourself for once in your damn life_ ** _.’ _

No matter what he did, he couldn't get these thoughts out of his mind. They were constantly repeating in his head, and he knew that they would haunt him forever if anything were to happen to MC. 

When they arrived at the hospital MC was rushed into emergency operations, while Zen was taken care of in the emergency room. Zen’s injuries were fairly minor, and most of them had been taken care of in the ambulance. His arm had been broken so the doctors put a cast on it, despite Zen insisting he didn’t need one. Along with the cast, Zen had bandages covering over half of both arms, along with his chest, neck, and a few on his face. 

Though the doctors wanted to keep Zen for another day or two to make sure the injuries concerning his chest and neck didn’t worsen, he refused any further treatment. When he walked into the waiting room, he saw all of the other R.F.A members waiting for him, all of their faces holding looks of worry and concern.

For a moment, he hesitated. He thought that it might be best to explain, so that he wouldn’t cause any more pain. When he opened his mouth to speak, no words came out. He was so focused on getting words out that he didn’t notice himself crying. When their facial expressions changed, he brought his uninjured hand to wipe away tears as best as he could before rushing off to hopefully find somewhere to collect himself.

It was still raining outside, though not as hard as it had been a few hours ago. Now the rain came down softly, and in small drops. Although he had stopped crying moments after he stepped foot outside, his face was still wet with the rain. He sat on a bench outside the hospital, and the only thoughts going through his mind were about MC. He knew he’d messed up, and he didn’t think he’d ever be able to forgive himself, even if she was okay. If she wasn’t…

Zen was torn from his thoughts when a familiar looking doctor tapped him lightly on the shoulder. She nodded her head, urging him to follow her back inside, so he did. They walked past the R.F.A. members, but Zen couldn’t bring himself to look at them. The guilt of what he did was eating at him, and he couldn’t handle having the rest of his friends hate him too. Zen followed the doctor into a room and his attention was immediately turned towards the person in the bed.

A wave of relief washed over him upon seeing MC in the bed. The heart monitor to her left was steady, and she didn’t look to be in pain while she was sleeping. “She’s okay…” Zen felt tears prick at his eyes again, but he managed to hold back when he heard the doctor began to speak.

She explained that she was alive and okay, but she didn’t get out as well as he had. She had some serious spinal damage, leaving her paralyzed and unable to walk ever again. When he heard this, his heart sank. His worst fear was MC getting hurt and it was suddenly a reality; He had been the cause of it. Not only was she hurt, but it was permanent. She would have to bear the consequences of  _ his _ mistake for the rest of her life.

When they heard MC waking up, Zen immediately turned to face her. Seeing her eyes open and watching them meet his filled his heart with both happiness and dread. He knew that this was his fault and that she should never forgive him, but he loved her so much that he didn’t know what would happen to him if she wouldn’t. The doctor left the room, and Zen immediately rushed to MC’s side.

Tears began to flow down his face, and although he had so much to say, he immediately became timid when he saw the pained look on her face. “I...I-I’m...sorry... I’m so sorry that this happened.” Was all he could manage to stutter out, his tone barely above a whisper. It hurt him to look at her and know that he’d caused her all this pain, but he felt selfish for trying to spare himself the hurt.

“What..? I’m sorry,” She said with a confused look on her face. She glanced at him, then to other areas around the room. “You must have me confused with someone else.” A small smile grew on MC’s lips as she brought her full attention back to him. “You’re so handsome… Are you an angel?” Zen’s mind was racing. Did she really hit her head that hard? When she began to speak again, she seemed calm and completely at peace.

**“Am I dying?”**

Her words were so calm, as if she had already thought over the possibility and accepted it. For some reason, that one question hit him harder than anything else. Her death was something he could have brought about, had things gone even minorly different; the fact that she seemed perfectly content with the thought of death hurt him even more. He could see some tears well up in her eyes, but she didn’t let them fall.

Suddenly, tears began to stream down his face. All he wanted to do in that moment was die; it was what he felt he deserved and MC wouldn’t care because she didn’t even know who he was anymore. Even through the tears, he managed to smile for her out of the pure hope that she wouldn’t hurt more if he did so.

“I’m your angel. But I’m just visiting. I’m not here to take you.” His one arm moved to her bedsheet, pulling it higher on her body, before going to lightly play with the hair that was sprawled out on the bed around her. “Now rest. Your friends should be here soon.” MC’s eyes began to close as his hand barely cupped her face. He placed one last sweet kiss to her forehead after her eyes had closed completely.

**“Goodnight, Princess…”**

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to talk to us on [ Cap's Tumblr](http://adventuresofloserville.tumblr.com/) or [ T's Tumblr ](http://princess-zeldork.tumblr.com/)! Cap listens to a somewhat sad playlist she made for this while she writes. If you're interested in listening to it while you read, you can find it [ here](https://play.spotify.com/user/capsicle101/playlist/3U1HCZw9dvJHBrPw1E7Gpr).


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